Now, all we can do is live
by The Sacred Pandapuff
Summary: The scene in the movie where Ed says goodbye to Al and Roy and goes. Movie spoilers! Slight mention of Parental!RoyEd Inclueds Vic Mignogna's song lyrics for Brothers. Reeally sad. R&R!


I watched the movie again last night and I just wanted to write about this scene where Ed leaves. As you can see, I've putted the lyrics of Vic Mignogna's song "Brothers" in there to give some more... power to the story. Some more emotion. I hope you enjoy it!

**Warning: reaaaally sad. Or at least that's what I tried.**

_Disclaimer: I don't own FMA or Vic Mignogna's song "Brothers"__**

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NOW, ALL WE CAN DO IS LIVE**_

**Edward's POV**

I can't believe what I'm about to do. All the time… All the years beyond the gate I have dreamed of the time when I would get a chance to return back to this place, back to my home and see these not only familiar, but also real and important faces from _my own _world once again. Well I have seen them now. And I'm about to sacrifice my own dreams in order to protect them.

I can't bear watching the face of my young but alive brother, the brother I love more than anything else in this world, or in the other world in that matter. I lower my head and feel the fresh wind of this world run over me over and over again. The wind is so different in here… not that contaminated.

_How can I repay you, brother mine?  
How can I expect you to forgive?  
Clinging to the past  
I shed our blood, and shattered your chance to live_

"Fullmetal…" I hear the Colonel saying. The ironic part is that I have actually missed even that man. It's weird… people really realize their feelings after they've lost their chances. I don't want to upset him by my leaving even more by telling him. Telling him that I owe him, I always will. For being there for me, for acting like my father when he wasn't present. Taking care of me. And now taking care of Alphonse.

I clap my hands before I start hesitating too much and feel the old but so familiar feeling run into me again. I lay my hands on the ground, breaking the ground with the power so my brother and Roy will have a chance to go back and keep living. This is just what I have to do. No matter how hard it hurts. God, I can't cry now, not in front of my brother. I have to be strong for him.

Seeing the two different ferries flowing further away makes me want to fall on my knees and cry. Cry harder than I've ever cried, even harder than the times I cried beyond the gate while thinking about Al. Wondering if he was alright or if I failed. Well, I know the answer now.

_  
Though I knew the laws, I paid no heed  
How can I return your wasted breath?  
What I did not know has cost you dear,  
For there is no cure for death_

"Nii-san?" my brother's innocent and perplexed voice runs through my head. I just want to tell him it's OK, that it's what I _have_ to do to keep him safe. That this is the pay I'll repay for him for my sins in the past. But I can't open my mouth, I can't face my brother in a moment like this. Though I know that I'll never get another chance and I'll regret my decision later. I just have to bear with it then.

"Nii-san!" Al yells a little louder and I hear steps while standing up again, enjoying the last gusts of wind that I'll ever feel from this place. From my home. I memorize them so I can always stay and remember them after this.

"That should be enough to manage with", I say, trying to keep my voice steady, which I do. I open my eyes and see Roy holding Al. I would just want him to understand, but I know he never will. I know that I'm losing his trust and admire right now, but somehow it doesn't matter._  
_  
_Beautiful Mother,  
Soft and sweet, once you were gone  
We were not complete  
Back through the years  
We reached for you  
A last, was not meant to be_

Both, Roy and Al are looking at me, disappointedly. It hurts me but I still try to smile. Al's lip is trembling, his eyes are twitching. Please Roy, take care of him. Take care of my brother. It hurts me to see them like that, Al mostly, he's always been so strong. He's always been the one I protect. The one I'm willing to sacrifice myself for. Which I've already done, and which I'm just about to do again.

"Where are you going?" Roy asks, holding frozen Alphonse back. God, he is worried about me. Just like the old days. I never really thanked him for everything. But this isn't a moment to thank. He'll see it in my eyes as he studies them, looking for the answer in his question.

I'm sorry Al. I'm so sorry. I'll never be able to repay you this. Never. But it's what I have to do. And I will do it.

"I'll take this bunch back beyond the gate", I hear myself saying. I turn my gaze away to these machines from the other side. They're way too developed to ever fit in here, but they're also my way back. They're my way back to secure my loved ones this side.

I'm sorry Al. I'm so sorry.

And I'm sorry Roy. I always make you worry and take care of my business. I always make you clean up my mess. It isn't going to change, I'm sorry to disappoint you.

But maybe you don't want that to change either. _  
_  
**Alphonse's POV**

_Don't cry for the past now, brother mine  
Neither you nor I are free from blame  
Nothing can erase the things we did,  
For the path we took was the same_

"You don't have to go!" I scream to my brother. How can he just stand there straight, not even looking at me? I thought he cared about me! I though… I thought now that we had a chance he'd be with me to the end. Never leaving. I feel hurt. Really hurt.

I worked so hard in this, I even managed to bring this mess in here, but it was the equivalent exchange for you! Did I go through all of this for nothing? For just seeing you once again? Once and then seeing you go and leave me. You can't do this to me, it's not fair. I feel tears in my eyes, but I force them back. It isn't the time to shed them.

But maybe it's like with our mum. No matter how much I pay, no matter how much I suffer, you're too good for me to have. You're too good for this world. But it isn't a reason any kind of to just go back! To just go back to that… other place and… leave me in here. You can't do that, can you? You could never do that. This is a sick joke of yours, right? The ones you already made when we were little. You're just teasing me. Right?

He turns his head back to us and faces me. "I have to destroy the gate", he says determinately. I know when he decides something, I'm not able to turn his head. But he can't go on with this madness! He can't leave me after all! He can't… he just can't… I can't go on without him. I can't live without him once again, knowing that I might've been able to get him back and then loosing this way. Letting him go this way.

"Al, you destroy the one on this side, so it can be never opened again", he goes on, looking at me seriously. He can't honestly believe me to do that!? He can't believe me to destroy the only way I can get him back, the only way I've figured out! He can't just leave me alone, once again!

As my brother starts to turn I become desperate. I've never felt like this before. All the other times I've been desperate… They've been nothing compared to this. There must be a way for me to get him stay, anything! Anything… something…

"What about Winry!?" I yell remembering the childhood friend of ours. She'd always believed that I could bring him back, she had always supported me but also kept me on the right line and out of too many troubles. I remember her smile once she saw him again I remember her tears as she hugged him again, he was blushing. There must've been something between those two, something I just don't remember or something that I just never noticed. Maybe she'll make him stay. I've heard that he hates to see her cry. Then maybe he even hates the idea of her crying, the memories of her crying?

He lowers his head, thinking. Please, brother, come back. Please don't go. Stay for me. Stay for her. Stay for _us_. We're family, you can't go. My heart is frozen as I see him turning, a faint smile on his lips. I see what he's going to say and I don't like it. I know him too well… even if I don't have any memories about him since our childhood.

"Tell her thanks for this", he says and shows his automail arm. Winry must've affixed it to him while I wasn't present. I see the greatness of her handiwork glimmering right in front of me. A part of my brother.

A part of me.

I can't hold the tears back anymore as I feel the Colonel dragging me further away from him.

"Nii-san!" I scream like I've never screamed in my life and feel the tears on my face. I feel my heart breaking into pieces.

Like it wasn't broken already.

**Edward's POV**

I hate seeing people cry. I haven't seen Al crying after our childhood and it scares me. It scares me to see the tears, to see like… part of his life disappearing behind his life. Did I really cause that? Did I really hurt my brother like I've never hurt him before, even though I thought there was no way to hurt him more than I already did.

I guess I really can never repay him. Not after this. It all just ends so soon. Too soon.

All I ever wanted was to get Al back to his body, give him another chance for a happy life. And now I see he hasn't taken the opportunity, he has wasted it trying to find a way to bring me back. So I've wasted all these years of his life. And I was worrying if he was alive… I should've worried if he lived properly and happily. Which seems he didn't do. And it's my fault.

I turn and walk back inside, tears flowing but making sure he doesn't see them. I hear him screaming for me, screaming from the bottom of his heart. I've let him down again. It feels like a part of me dies.

I guess there really is no life left for me without him. Not that I'd deserve it after all I've done for him.

I'm so sorry Al. I hope you'll understand. We just must go on. We must go on.

_So, where do we go from here?  
And how to forget and forgive?  
What's gone is forever lost  
Now, all we can do is live

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_I really do love reviews as people must know already. I want to hear your opinions, did I catch it all the right way? How did you like it?

Until next time!


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